Sewing My Life Together

Hmmm…Stalled Creativity?

After I completed all of those Professional Development Points AND  the last draft of the article I am writing, I sat down last Thursday night, March 21, to sew. I actually had not even sat at my machine for a couple of weeks….and I found myself at a loss for what to do. I have several projects in progress, but as I sat there, I realized – with a groan – that I did not feel interested in any of them…so I sat there, not motivated to do anything…I looked around the mess of fabric and ribbons and paper on the shelves and floor near my sewing machine and felt …stupid. Blocked. Stalled. Lacking enthusiasm. Lacking any creativity.

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It occurred to me that I was right about not spending a lot of money creating a sewing area because evidently I was, indeed, going to lose my interest. RIght then and there I knew I was not creative, would never be an artist, or even a crafter, and that I had just been pretending.   I felt awful. I thought that I had wasted my time and money on something I was not ever going to be good enough at.Image

I am not by nature neat, and can handle chaos in my environment pretty well.  I can walk right by a pile of clothes to put away, a sink of dishes needing to be washed, and go read a book and just forget about all the mess. But last Thursday, it bothered me. It all felt as if it were a huge debt that I had to pay.

And so I sat. and thought about the other sewing/quilting blogs I read in which almost every day some creative person has a new post about this quilt she had finished, another one who was learning to machine quilt, and all those beautiful photos these bloggers posted.

And I knew I was not one of them.

And I am not. I began this blog about the process of designing, sewing, crafting, quilting, not about the beautiful items I make daily. And I realized that after being out of the ‘flow’ of sitting at my machine almost every day, I lost the feeling of being creative. I could not find my place in all the ‘stuff’ I had around me.

So, what did I do? I picked up some fabric, some card stock, and put together some new cards. Image

I may have only spent two hours making them, but intrinsically I knew I had to start once again. Calling myself down, telling myself I was not good at this stuff, was going to get me nowhere. I decided to start something to see if I could resurrect that feeling of accomplishment that occurs when I put together something pretty.

And I did. It’s been a slow transition, but the energy is coming back.

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This entry was published on March 24, 2013 at 9:57 pm. It’s filed under Cards, Crafts, Interests, Mistakes and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

5 thoughts on “Hmmm…Stalled Creativity?

  1. You are unique, one of a kind, and it doesn’t matter what others are doing; remember that you are the only one who does it like YOU do. When I have been in a non-creative state of mine, I have thought simular thoughts; now I am more patient and the creativity always comes back. Been there, done that and I am sure a lot of your other readers would say the same thing!
    Cute cards by the way! 🙂

  2. Love your post, Susan. I can totally relate, Creativity and energy seem to come when they come, not necessarily when I call. But one thing is for sure, it runs away when I compare myself to others. These days, the best I can do is remember my own purpose and be grateful when the muse arrives. By the way, I was struck by the irony that writing about lack of creative energy was creative, helpful and authentic.

  3. You are just like me in that I can ignore the chores until it will make a huge difference if I do them. My sewing space gets in a tip every time I make something but I make myself tidy up and vacuum thoroughly when I have finished each project. That way, when I return to sewing, I am ready to start in what seems like a brand new organised space. It works for me. You will find your own way, but whatever happens, don’t give up! Your cards are lovely. I love home made cards 🙂 Avis x

  4. Everyone gets blocked, but even more so, we get tired. You have had a lot on your plate so be nice to yourself! I cannot sew during the week at all…too used up from a day of work. You were using the other side of your brain with your certification and paper. One can’t just flip a switch to turn one side off and the other on. And with how mean you were being to yourself, it’s clear you were not using the creative side of your brain…until you began to putter. Now never talk meanly(don’t think that’s a word) to yourself again or I’ll send Louise Hay after you! 🙂

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